Sex complicates everything. You can’t see clearly and you can’t make decisions properly. These are the controversial words of Bolanle Olukanni, a popular media personality, who has recently taken to preaching against sex before marriage. Her statements have ignited a fiery debate within society, with some praising her for promoting traditional values, while others argue that sex is a natural and healthy part of adult relationships.

In a society that is becoming more liberal and open-minded about sexuality, it is not surprising that Bolanle Olukanni’s stance has sparked such strong reactions. Her views hark back to a time when premarital sex was heavily stigmatized, and the idea of abstaining until marriage was widely espoused.

Olukanni argues that sex complicates relationships and clouds one’s judgment. She asserts that engaging in sexual activity before marriage can make it difficult to objectively evaluate a partner’s character and compatibility. According to her, the intense emotions and physical intimacy that come with sex often blind individuals to potential red flags in their relationships. By waiting until marriage, she believes that one can form a more solid foundation built on emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection.

While Olukanni’s arguments might hold some truth for certain individuals, it is essential to recognize that everyone’s experiences and perspectives on sex differ. Some people may indeed feel a greater sense of clarity and focus by abstaining from sex until marriage. However, this doesn’t mean it applies to all individuals or that it is the right choice for everyone.

Sexuality is a deeply personal aspect of human life, and each person should be free to make choices that align with their values and beliefs. Promoting abstinence as the only acceptable path can be alienating and shaming for those who choose differently or have differing experiences.

Furthermore, the assertion that sex complicates everything oversimplifies the complex dynamics of relationships. While it is true that sexual chemistry can impact our perceptions of a person or a relationship, it is not the sole determining factor. Emotional compatibility, shared values, effective communication, and mutual respect are all vital components of a successful partnership. It is unfair to attribute the success or failure of a relationship solely to the presence or absence of sex before marriage.

It is also important to note that sex is a natural and healthy part of adult relationships. It fosters intimacy, strengthens emotional bonds, and can contribute to overall well-being. Healthy sexual relationships are built on consent, respect, and open communication. By promoting abstinence until marriage, we risk stigmatizing and shaming those who engage in consensual premarital sex, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and unrealistic expectations.

Instead of preaching against sex before marriage, a more balanced approach would involve open dialogue and education about healthy and responsible sexual behavior. Encouraging individuals to gain a better understanding of their own values, desires, and boundaries can help them navigate their relationships with clarity and confidence.

Ultimately, the decision to engage in sex before or after marriage should be a personal one, driven by individual choice rather than societal expectations. It is essential to respect and support each person’s autonomy and agency when it comes to matters of their own sexuality.